“She’s a 10.”
“She’s a solid 7.”
“Shes out of my league.”
We’ve all heard phrases like these—casual shorthand for judging people’s attractiveness as if dating were a Yelp review. The so-called “rating system” has seeped into modern dating culture, thanks to social media, dating apps, and a society obsessed with appearances.
It is often called the attractiveness scale men and women use to rate each other. However, relying on this system can be misleading due to the subjective nature of beauty. What one person sees as a perfect 10, another might see as a 6 or 7. But here’s the truth: the rating system is broken. It’s misleading and ignores what actually makes someone a great partner.
Let’s explore why the rating system in dating can’t be trusted and what really matters when it comes to attraction.
The Rating System:
The rating system is basically a scale of 1 to 10 that people use to rate the attractiveness of people. So for example some people rate Scarlett Johansson as a 10 while others rate Natalie Portman as a 9 etc.
The rating system is an easy way for people to gauge attractiveness and people love easy solutions. However, the rating system comes with its own problems. Here is why:
Beauty is Subjective
Different Strokes for Different Folks
Beauty truly is in the eye of the beholder. Everyone has their own unique preferences and standards for attractiveness. For instance:
- Body Preferences: Some men prefer women with larger breasts, while others might favor a woman with a more petite frame. Similarly, some are attracted to a curvier figure, while others like a slender physique.
- Hair Preferences: Long hair might be a deal-breaker for some, whereas others are drawn to short hairstyles or unique hair colors.
- Personality: Some men prefer submissive women. While others prefer dominant women.
The concept of beauty and attraction changes from person to person and thus the the rating system is often misleading. The rating system oversimplifies something as complex as human connection. By slapping a number on someone, you’re ignoring everything that makes them unique—their personality, values, humor, and the intangible qualities that create attraction.
Examples of Subjectivity in Attraction
Consider two men looking at the same woman:
- Man A rates her as a 10 because she has long hair and a curvy figure, which aligns perfectly with his preferences.
- Man B rates her as a 6 because he prefers women with short hair and a more athletic build.
This is why a rating system can’t accurately reflect the true attractiveness of a person. Everyone has their own version of the attractiveness scale. Attraction is deeply personal, shaped by your experiences, preferences, and emotional connection.
The problem? The rating system assumes there’s an objective standard of beauty that everyone agrees on, which simply isn’t true.
Women Have Their Own Preferences Too
The same subjectivity applies to women’s preferences for men. Every woman has a different preference when it comes to what she finds attractive. It all depends on her background, upbringing, and life experiences. So for one woman, you might be a 9 whereas for another woman you will be a 6. It’s all relative:
- Body Type: Some women are attracted to skinny guys, while others prefer muscular or “jacked” guys.
- Style: Some women like the “bad boy” look, while others prefer a more polished, gentlemanly appearance.
For example:
- Woman A might rate a muscular man as a 9 because she likes the fit, athletic look.
- Woman B might rate the same man as a 6 because she prefers a slimmer, more casual appearance.
Universal Factors That Boost Attraction
While beauty is subjective, there are universal factors that can enhance your attractiveness regardless of personal preferences. These are the ones you as a man should target. Instead of focusing on one woman. You should focus on being the best version of yourself:
1. Getting in Shape
Physical fitness is universally appealing. Being in good shape not only improves your health but also boosts your confidence and energy levels, making you more attractive and healthy.
That doesn’t mean you need to be jacked. But it does mean you need to exercise 5 times a week. And eat healthy. Take care that your hair, skin, etc stay healthy and you look amazing.
2. Dressing Well and Having Good Hygiene
Good grooming and a sharp wardrobe can significantly elevate your attractiveness. Dressing well shows that you care about your appearance and pay attention to detail.
Dressing in clothes that fit you and using colors that make you look good is key. Along with that making sure your grooming and hygiene game is on point can make you go from 4-5 to 8-9 easily in terms of attractiveness to women.
If you want more in-depth help then you can book a free 1-1 coaching call to get a custom plan that suits your dating needs. You can also check out our products page for paid consultations.
3. Being Non-Needy
Neediness is a major turn-off. This is by far the most unattractive quality guys have. When you’re getting all needy, thinking she’s The One™ or She’s So Different™ or She’s So Hot™, remember this: it’s all in your head.
Confidence is attractive; desperation, not so much. Have your own life, pursue your own interests, and show her that you’re not some clingy desperate guy who can’t function without her by your side. The idea is to be outcome independent confident guy that women want to be with. You are the prize, not her.
4. Being Confident and Outcome Independent
Confidence is key in attraction. Being confident without being arrogant and not being overly concerned with the outcome of a date or interaction can make you 10x more attractive to women.
Women care about what you make them feel. If you are needy desperate and make them feel creeped out or icky. You will automatically fall down on the attractiveness scale.
Your body language, posture, etc all matter when it comes to being attractive to women.
5. Showing Charm
Charm and charisma can significantly boost your attractiveness. Being personable, engaging, and able to hold interesting conversations can set you apart from all the nice guys women have to constantly deal with. Remember women love guys who are interesting and charming.
The worst thing you can do to a woman is bore her. If you are lacking conversational skills or struggling to talk to women. I recommend getting coaching. Yes, you can probably figure it out yourself if you spend enough time but it will take years for you to do it. A coach can help you within months. Remember time is money.
Improving Your Rating
While you can’t control personal preferences, focusing on these universal factors can enhance your overall attractiveness:
- Fitness: Regular exercise and a healthy diet.
- Style: Investing in a good wardrobe and maintaining good hygiene.
- Confidence: Working on your self-esteem and practicing positive self-talk.
- Independence: Developing your own interests and hobbies.
- Charm: Improving your social skills and being genuinely interested in others.
By working on these areas, you can improve your “rating” from a 3 to a 5 or 6 regardless of individual preferences.
Conclusion
The rating system in dating is flawed due to the subjective nature of beauty. Everyone has different preferences, making it impossible to accurately rate someone. However, by focusing on universal factors like fitness, style, confidence, and charm, you can significantly enhance your attractiveness and appeal to a lot of women and improve your dating life tremendously. Always strive to be the best version of yourself, and you’ll naturally attract the right people who appreciate you for who you are.
Are you tired of feeling overlooked in the dating scene? Do you want to discover the qualities that truly captivate women and make you unforgettable? As a seasoned dating coach, I’ve spent years understanding what women genuinely desire in a partner. Now, I’m ready to share these insights with you.
Inside, you’ll discover:
- The key traits that make women naturally drawn to you
- Proven strategies to boost your confidence and charisma
- Essential tips for mastering the art of conversation and connection
- Practical advice for refining your personal style and presentation
- Relation Management skills so women want to stay with you forever
But that’s not all. To kickstart your journey to becoming the best version of yourself, I’m offering a FREE consultation call. During this call, we’ll discuss your dating challenges and craft a personalized plan to elevate your appeal and success with women.
Don’t let another opportunity pass you by. Embrace the attractive qualities women love and transform your dating life today!
Book your FREE call now and take the first step towards becoming the man you’ve always wanted to be.
