Picture this: you’re at a bar, a café, or maybe a party. Across the room, there’s someone who catches your eye. She glances your way, then looks away quickly. You wonder, Was that a signal? Should I approach her?
If you’re like most men, the fear of misreading the situation can paralyze you. But here’s the thing: women often do give signals when they’re open to being approached. The trick is knowing how to spot them.
As a dating coach, I’ve worked with countless men who’ve struggled with this moment—the hesitation, the self-doubt, the “what if I’m wrong?” Here’s the truth: women are subtle, but not impossible to read. You just need to know the signs.
Women speak in languages most men don’t understand. The most common being body language and indirect hints. So let’s take a look at them.
1. The Look and Smile Combo
One of the most classic signs of flirting is when she looks at you and smiles. It’s a pretty good indication that she is interested. That smile is essentially a green light saying, “I’m friendly, come chat with me!”
Eye contact is the universal language of attraction. If she looks at you, and then holds your gaze for a second longer than usual, that’s a green light. She’s not just glancing around the room; she’s letting you know she’s noticed you.
And if she looks away shyly, only to glance back again? That’s her inviting you to make a move.
What to Do:
- If you catch her looking at you, meet her gaze confidently and smile.
- Don’t stare—this isn’t a staring contest. It’s about creating a moment of connection.
- If she smiles, smile back. Confidence is attractive, and returning her smile sets the stage for an approach. Don’t overthink it—women rarely smile at men they don’t want to talk to.
2. She Positions herself closer to you or points at things near you
If she is moving closer to you and frequently looking at you then it’s a dead giveaway she wants to be approached. Has she moved closer to you without any apparent reason? This is a strategic move on her part to make it easier for you to start a conversation with her. She’s probably checking to see if you’ve noticed her too.
Women rarely approach directly, but they’ll position themselves to make it easier for you to approach. If she moves closer to your side of the room or casually lingers in your area, it’s likely intentional. She’s creating an opportunity for you to strike up a conversation without making it obvious. Sometimes she and her friends will look at you, you will see them smiling and giggling like little girls. Probably a very solid sign of interest for you to make a move.
Ever notice how someone keeps “coincidentally” crossing your path? She’s not pacing the room for no reason. If she’s deliberately moving into your line of sight, it’s a subtle way of saying, I want you to notice me.
This could be as simple as walking past you multiple times or positioning herself where you can see her clearly.
What to Do:
- Pay attention to her movements. Did she just happen to end up next to you at the bar or the coffee counter?
- Use the moment to start small: “This place is packed tonight, huh?” or “What’s your go-to drink here?”
- Acknowledge her presence with a friendly smile or nod the next time she walks by.
- Use her proximity as a natural segue to strike up a conversation.
3. She Plays with Her Hair, her bag, or her Jewellery
Also known as preening. Women tend to flirt by playing with their hair, bags, and jewelry. It’s a subtle way of saying look at me. If she twirls a strand of hair, adjusts her hairstyle, or smooths it down while looking at you. When a woman is interested, she may subconsciously play with her hair, adjust her jewelry, or fidget with her clothes. It’s a mix of nervous energy and a subtle way of drawing your attention to her.
This doesn’t mean every hair flip is an invitation, but if it’s paired with other signs—like eye contact or positioning herself near you—it’s worth noting.
What to Do:
Combine this with other signals before making your move.
Look for patterns. Is she fidgeting more when you’re nearby?
4. Open Body Language and Mirroring
A woman’s body language speaks volumes before she says a word. If she’s facing you, keeping her arms relaxed, and doesn’t seem closed off, it’s a sign she’s open to interaction. Bonus points if her feet are pointed in your direction—that’s a subconscious sign of interest and she doesn’t even know she is doing it. Another good one is mirroring. People naturally mimic the body language of those they are interested in. If you notice she’s mirroring your gestures or posture, it’s a subconscious way of showing interest. What are you waiting for make your move.
On the flip side, crossed arms, turning away, or avoiding eye contact signals she’s not in the mood to chat.
What to Do:
- Look for open, inviting body language before approaching.
- Respect her space—approach with confidence, but don’t invade her personal bubble.
Remember: Confidence is Key
5. She Mirrors Your Movements
Mirroring is a subconscious way people show interest. If you notice her adjusting her body language to match yours—crossing her legs when you do, leaning in when you lean back—it’s a subtle sign she’s tuned into you. Sometimes, women will test the waters by creating small moments of interaction. Maybe she bumps into you “accidentally,” brushes past you, or positions herself where you’ll notice her.
These subtle actions are her way of opening the door—your job is to walk through it.
What to Do:
- Test the waters by changing your posture or shifting slightly. If she mirrors you, it’s time to approach.
- Don’t overanalyze—if the vibe feels right, trust your instincts.
- Acknowledge her presence with a friendly, light comment. For example, “I’m starting to think you’re following me!” (said with a smile, of course).
Final Thoughts
Women appreciate a man who is confident but not arrogant. If you approach her with a genuine smile and introduce yourself like a normal person. Even if she isn’t interested, she’ll likely appreciate your courage and the opportunity to know you.
Don’t let opportunities slip by because you were scared to approach. Getting good with women requires taking action and practice as a whole. Pay attention to these signs, trust your instincts, and take a chance to talk to that cute girl in front of you. After all, every great connection starts with a simple hello.
If you are struggling with talking with women and getting first dates we have a special offer for you! To kickstart your dating journey, I’m offering a FREE consultation call. During this call, we’ll discuss your dating challenges and craft a personalized plan to elevate your appeal and success with women.
Don’t let another opportunity pass you by. Embrace the attractive qualities women love and transform your dating life today!
Book your FREE call now and take the first step towards becoming the man you’ve always wanted to be.
Do you have any personal experiences or questions about making the first move? Drop them in the comments below! Let’s keep the conversation going.
