If you can’t score dates online or you’re stuck with matches that you don’t like, you’re missing some critical skills. Identifying and mastering these skills will help you step up your game and get the dates you actually want. Let’s clarify one thing: when we talk about “online dating,” it starts the moment you sign up on a dating site or app and ends the second you meet that woman in real life. After that, it’s all about your real-life game.
While the game has changed, the goal remains the same: to create a meaningful connection. But let’s be honest, navigating online dating can feel like a full-time job if you don’t know what you’re doing. The good news? Success in online dating isn’t about luck or perfect selfies. It’s about mastering key skills that set you apart from the sea of profiles and turning your matches into real dates.
As a dating coach, I’ve worked with countless men to help them improve their online dating game. If you’re ready to stand out and connect, here are the five skills you need to master for online dating success.
Must read: Top dating apps for beginners
1. Photo Skill:
When I say “photo skill,” I don’t mean you need to be the next Ansel Adams. You just need to know how to look as good as possible in your pictures without having to massively edit everything. The goal is to get a professional photographer and click plenty of pictures that you can choose from and edit. Different poses, backgrounds, and styles. The goal is to have plenty of options to choose from so you can choose the best pictures and maximize results on your dating profile.
Your profile is your first impression—it’s your elevator pitch, your highlight reel, and your digital handshake all rolled into one. And yet, so many men treat it like an afterthought. The key to a great profile is balance: showcase who you are without oversharing.
Tips for Photos:
- Best Colors and Backgrounds: Find out what colors and backgrounds make you pop. It’s different for every guy, so experiment until you find what works for you.
- Posing: Learn how to pose in ways that highlight your best features. Standing, sitting, leaning – it all matters.
- Lighting and Depth: Good lighting can make or break a photo. Find out what lighting works best for your face and body.
- Reflect Your Persona: Your photos should reflect the persona you want to project. Whether it’s the rugged adventurer or the sophisticated gentleman, make sure your photos tell that story.
- Choose the Right Photos: Use a mix of well-lit solo shots, action photos (doing something you enjoy), and one social photo to show you’re approachable. Skip the gym selfies and group pics where it’s unclear which one is you.
- Make sure to look good: Make sure to groom properly, get a haircut that suits you, and trim your beard.
Even good-looking guys get nowhere if their photos suck. Don’t be that guy. Here are the 7 types of photos you need on your online dating profile or Instagram.
2. Profile Writing: Craft a Magnetic Bio
Profile writing used to be more crucial, but thanks to swipe apps, many women decide based on photos alone. However, a solid profile is still necessary to seal the deal. Unlike men, women tend to read your entire profile and a lot more than you think. Now photos are still the most important when it comes to online dating but that is no excuse to ignore your bio.
Tips for Profile Writing:
- Avoid Red Flags: Don’t be too controversial or too cocky. Keep it balanced. No talks on religion or politics.
- Don’t Be a Nerd: Save the intellectual talk for later. Keep it simple and interesting. Don’t write about your favorite Pokemon character there
- Avoid ASD Triggers: Don’t be too sexual or appear like a player. Keep it classy and cool.
- Engage, Don’t Bore: Write something that will grab her attention and something witty.
If you need more help with online dating then we are here to help. Book a free call to schedule a 1 – 1 coaching plan for you that will help you get the women of your dreams.
Keep it short, engaging, and specific. Instead of saying, “I like to travel,” try, “Always looking for my next adventure—recently fell in love with hiking in Sedona.”
3. Online Communication: Be Smooth and Strategic
Online communication is a key. Don’t be needy or desperate when talking online. Also, make sure you don’t end up having a conversation-to-nowhere scenario where you guys keep talking but it doesn’t go anywhere. The goal is to get her on a date with you. You wanna be the cool, fun, outcome-independent guy who just happened to be interested in her. You should not be trying sexting with her on text before you haven’t even met her. Save all of that after you have started dating. Don’t be that needy guy
Must read: Why Nice Guys Finish Last
Tips for Online Communication:
- Friendly, Not Boring: Be engaging but not overly familiar.
- Aggressive, Not Pushy: Show interest but don’t scare her off.
- Funny, Not Silly: Keep it light and humorous without being immature.
- Outcome Independent: Don’t come across as desperate. You’ve got options.
Too many guys rely on boring openers like “Hey” or “How’s it going?” These are dead ends. If you want to stand out, you need to send a message that sparks curiosity or makes her smile.
Tips to Master This Skill:
- Personalize It: Reference something specific from her profile. If she mentions a love for coffee, ask, “What’s the best coffee shop in town I haven’t discovered yet?”
- Be Playful: Humor goes a long way. If her profile mentions she loves dogs, try, “I’m going to need proof your dog is as cute as mine before we proceed.”
- Ask Open-Ended Questions: Instead of yes/no questions, ask something that invites a conversation: “If you could teleport anywhere right now, where would you go?”
4. Closing: Secure the Date
Closing is all about timing and logistics. Depending on how and when you got her number you can pitch the date on the same day or the next day. Remember our goal is to get a date with her. Don’t try to tell her your life story via text. Thats a recipe for disaster. This is the sales part of the equation. Dating is just sales after all.
If you did everything right before then this part should not be an issue. If you however were needy or boring in the previous conversations you will struggle to get a date.
Tips for Closing:
- Perfect Timing: Find the sweet spot between too soon and too late.
- Low Pressure: Make the date seem casual and no big deal.
- Logistics: Get her number, confirm the time, and ensure the place is right.
- Look for Signs She’s Interested: If she’s engaging enthusiastically and asking questions about you, it’s a good time to move forward.
- Be Clear, But Casual: Say something like, “I’ve really enjoyed chatting—want to grab coffee this weekend and see if we click in person?”
- Suggest a Low-Pressure First Date: Coffee, a casual lunch, or a walk are great options for keeping things relaxed.
The whole point of online dating is to eventually take it offline. Staying in the messaging phase too long can cause momentum to fizzle out. On the flip side, rushing to meet in person before establishing trust can feel pushy. The key is to recognize when the vibe is right to suggest a date.
Make sure everything is set to avoid any last-minute mishaps. Make sure that you are polite but persistent. And if she is absolutely not interested then move on. Don’t spend your time on girls who are not interested in dating. When it comes to online dating many times you will find girls who are already in a relationship or not interested in actually going on a date. But are just looking for free attention and validation online.
5. Follow-Up: Seal the Deal
Your job isn’t done once the date is set. Women are flakey by nature, and you need to keep things on track. Make sure to keep in touch and check in on her on the day of the date to make sure she is still on board. Don’t be desperate but also make sure to check that she is following the date plans.
Tips for Follow-Up:
- Regular Check-Ins: Follow up as needed to keep her interested.
- Stay on Her Radar: Even if she cancels or reschedules, keep her engaged by being fun and interesting. Don’t be desperate.
- Secure the Date: Ensure the highest chance of the date actually happening. Your goal is the date so make sure to pitch the date plans again if she cancels once.
You’ll face ghosting, mismatches, and the occasional awkward interaction. The key is to you are always leveling up and getting better.
Conclusion
Master these five skills, and you’ll be scheduling dates with women you actually want to meet. These are the main skills you need to master to get the date. Are you tired of feeling overlooked in the dating scene? Do you want to discover the qualities that truly captivate women and make you unforgettable? As a seasoned dating coach, I’ve spent years understanding what women genuinely desire in a partner. Now, I’m ready to share these insights with you.
Inside, you’ll discover:
- The key traits that make women naturally drawn to you
- Proven strategies to boost your confidence and charisma
- Essential tips for mastering the art of conversation and connection
- Practical advice for refining your personal style and presentation
- Relation Management skills so women want to stay with you forever
But that’s not all. To kickstart your journey to becoming the best version of yourself, I’m offering a FREE consultation call. During this call, we’ll discuss your dating challenges and craft a personalized plan to elevate your appeal and success with women.
Don’t let another opportunity pass you by. Embrace the attractive qualities women love and transform your dating life today!
Book your FREE call now and take the first step towards becoming the man you’ve always wanted to be.
